The madness! THE MADNESS!
by LittleEnglishLass
Summary: What happens when you mix the hyperactive ME with the Nemesis? Poor clueless Megsie, he just has no way of knowing. Also, what happens after an 'accident' befalls said ship and I hang out with the lovely 'bots? (D'aww I love those little tacos!) Read and marvel at the brillant chaos I bring! Just doing my bit for the Irken Empire. *salutes* READ AND REVIEW OR ELSE, HUMAN SLAVES!
1. Chapter 1: Nemesis Shmemesis

**Question; What happens when some 'cons meet **_**me**_** after I've spent a whole day watching Invader Zim, consuming all the sugar and caffeine in the house?**

**Answer; UTTER INSANITY**

**I HAVE DONE ONE FOR THE BOTS! YEY I LOVE EVERYONE! Well...not Dib. He always ruins Zimmy's plans. His big head is cool though. **

**"Hey! My head's not big!"**

***sarcasm mode ACTIVATED* Suuurrrre Dib, and Gaz pukes rainbows and kittens...**

**Note, **The Fjuoirn Beast of Klaan (pronounced fudge-you-oi-rin) and Planet Kaan are both things that I made up. It is bright yellow and about 20 feet tall with eighteen long, angluar limbs that are not quite legs, not quite arms. It is also the second stupidest creature in existance. (First being Humans.)  
Planet Klaan is located in the Shapley Supercluster and is a wandering planet. (Also known as a lonely planet, as it has lost it's orbit with it's parent star. It was probbably kicked out of it's orbit by a much bigger planet coming too close and disrupting the gravity between the star and the planet.) It is cold, with yellow 'snow' and thick, choking clouds of methane gas, larger rings than Saturn and seventy three moons of various sizes.

* * *

**THE madness! THE MADNESS!**

"Knock Out, why have you brought a human before me?"

Megatron looked at the human in front of him. The young girl, with dark hair partially covered by a grey hat, and big, marble green eyes glanced up at him with slight interest, before yawning pointedly.

"WOO! HI THERE!" She bellowed, waving like a lunatic.

He couldn't understand what the significance of such a pathetic creature was, or why she was acting so fearless.

"With respect Lord Megatron, the girl emits a strange energy signature, and was found at the site of the surge in energy." Knock Out said, his slick, arrogant voice sliding into all corners of the room. "I made sure to give her a thorough look over before I brought her to you. Aside from the odd readings, she's a perfectly normal human."

Megatron stared at the girl, who had begun laughing at him.

"What's so funny?" Breakdown asked, looking in confusion at the human.

"Ahahah! Megatron! Imma call you Meg's 'cause you're so cute!" The girl shouted.

"Cute?!" Megatron looked at the girl in utter disbelief.

"That's what I said deaf lugs!"

Before any of them could react, she ran over to one of the Vehicons and climbed up him like a speed demon, before dropping lightly beside of the many screens.

"WHAT'S THIS DO? WHAT'S THAT DO? WHAT'S IT DO? WHAT'S YOU DOING?"

She began pressing random parts of the screen. An alarm blared. In a panic, the Vehicon grabbed her and placed her back on the floor, before backing away slowly and fixing whatever she had broken. The other Decepticons looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Uh, Knock Out, are you sure you didn't do anything to her head while you were capturing her?" Breakdown asked eventually.

"Positive." Knock Out looked as confused as the others. "She was silent before..."

"HEY!...HEEEY!" They all looked down. "You got any explosives? 'Cause I love it when stuff goes splodie, just like this KABLAM!"

Megatron turned to his medic.

"Knock Out, have you identified the energy yet?" he asked, choosing to ignore the girl as she began to roll around the floor, giggling.

"No, not yet." The medic replied, following his leader's tactic. "But whatever it is, it's something new and very powerful. I've never seen anything like it."

Megatron paused before answering. "Would it be possible to, ah, extract this energy?"

"I think so, give me some time and my equipment, and I think I should be able to isolate the relevant cells using a lower frequency to detect them but-"

"SHUT YOUR NOISE TUBES, PITIFUL WORMSLAVES. YOUR VOICES ARE MAKING ME SICK!"

The girl glowered at the Decepticons, who were, for the most part, taken aback. Megatron began to sneer.

"Brave words from one so-"

"SILENCE DIB-MONKEY! I AM ZEE! SUPERIOR IRKEN INVADER AND YOU WILL OBEY YOUR MASTER!" Bellowed the girl. She shook her fist at the Decepticon leader. "YOU! OBEY THE FIST!"

Silence followed. Nobody, repeat _nobody_ had ever spoken to their leader like that. Not even Optimus Prime had ever yelled at Megatron like that. How could a tiny little human even dare to speak in such a way. The assembled Decepticons were almost afraid to look at their leader.

Megatron, on the other hand, was more bemused than anything else. Sure, he was a little enraged at the filthy organic for such disrespect. If anything, he was a actually impressed with the girl's bravery.

"Hang on, did you just say 'Irken Invader'?" Breakdown asked, looking almost afraid of the answer.

"Yep, I was sent to planet Vort to begin with, but after I conquered that pitiful rock I decided to help my twin brother, Zim, out with his takeover of Earth." The girl said cheerfully. "He's not very good at this invading lark. Mainly because he was given a malfunctioning SIR unit to help him. G.I.R tends to ruin most of Zim's plans by accident, but that human wormbaby Dib has proven to be quite problematic for him. _FILTHY_ humans! _CURSE_ THEM AND THEIR MEATS OF EVIL!"

"Wait, wait wait wait a second." Knock Out held up a hand. "You are completely human, I did scans on you."

"Um, it's a clever disguise. By Irk, you lot are dumber than the Fjuoirn Beast of Klaan." The girl rolled her eyes. "Can I go now? I have to adjust the engines on my Voot Runner. They're cutting out a lot. Mainly as I go past the ergosphere."

"No you can NOT go!" Meagtron finally spoke. "While you are on my ship, you are under MY command. I do not care if you are human or not, I am the leader of the Decepticons, and you will comply."

The girl was silent for a moment.

"You're funny." She said, taking a can of pop out of her jacket pocket. She shook it and then sprayed it all over the controls.

The controls began to spark and the ship began shaking. The Decepticons started to panic, trying desperately to keep the ship stable, but to no avail. The ship started to fall.

"BYE! THIS WAS FUN, BUT I GOT A PLANET TO TAKE OVER! See ya later wormslaves!" yelled the girl, before disappearing in a flash of light.

* * *

**Yep, I'm crazy. **

**SWEET JUMPIN' CHILLI-BEAN I'M CRAZY! You won't find a crazier taco than this one! ^_^**

**Next time on Channel Odd, how do the 'bots react when I bump into them? **

**See ya later human pig-smellies! INVADER ZEE OVER AND OUT!**


	2. Chapter 2: I needed that!

**As promised, here is what happens when the AUTOBOTS meet me! **

**Haha, if you guys are liking this series, I'll do some for the Movieverse and G1 ect. See how I deal with Galloway, and watch me cause chaos in the Ark!**

**WARNING; Excessive exposure to my insanity may cause temporary madness in audience. Not that you should be complaining, wormy humans, you should feel honoured that your brainmeats have been overtaken by my superior Irken mind state. I AM ZEE!**

* * *

**The MADNESS!**

**Part 2**

Jack stood in the base. He stared at the girl who was about the same age as him, standing with her hands clasped behind her back, smiling in a sweet way.

"So, you're telling me that she's the reason the 'cons ship crashed?" He asked finally, looking up the Prime stood beside him.

"Apparently so." The noble Autobot leader looked as confused and surprised as the others surrounding him.

Arcee walked up to the girl, her blue armor glowing slightly in the soft light of the hangar. "What's your name kid?" she asked, placing her hand on her hip.

"Z.E.E Reporting for duty." The girl saluted and stood to attention, before running over to the ground bridge. "WHAT'S THIS DO? WHAT'S IT DO?" She yelled.

Ratchet sighed, realising he would be the one to explain the tech to the strange human teen. "It's called a ground bridge. It's a scaled down version of space bridge technology. Basically you can walk from one end of the world to the other in a few seconds."

"Uh Huh. Hey, WHAT'S THIS DO?!" Zee ran over to the computer screen that was currently displaying the Iacon database.

Ratchet was taken aback for a brief moment, but composed himself to answer."It _does _nothing. It only displays a certain important database that holds the locations of keys that may be able to bring our home planet back from the dead. Optimus is the one who has the skills necessary to decode the database, and retrieve the co-ordinates for the keys."

"Oki doki!" Zee screwed up her eyes and grinned, her tongue poking sweetly out of the side of her mouth. "I like you. HAVE A PIGGY!" she yelled, somehow producing a squeaky rubber pig toy from nowhere.

With a sqeal, she threw it at Ratchet, who ducked out of the way, and groaned as he heard a thump and a crash.

"I NEEDED THAT!"

"I_ had_ no i-dea." Zee said, staring up at them with a dazed expression before giggling madly at nothing.

The 'bots looked at each other. How had someone so small and so...odd managed to bring down a Decepticon warship?

"Uh, Zee is it?" Optimus asked. The girl waved furiously at him. "How could you have possibly brought down the Nemesis?"

"Oh duh! I just threw a can of fizzy cola at the guidie-computie-thingie." Zee said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It went all sparky and BOOM. Ahaha! Megsie was _not _a happy bunny! I like bunnies. And cheese too."

The 'bots took one look at each other and fell into laughter. The finest in Decepticon engineering, felled by a single human with a can of pop. A rather cruel irony, considering the 'cons looked down upon the humans as a race.

"Seriously? That's it?!" Smokescreen choked. "A fizzy drink against a whole battleship full of 'cons?"

"I don't believe it!" Giggled Miko. "Oh man, now you guys have something to humiliate the 'cons with next time you meet them."

A shriek made them all look round. Zee was racing around the base, whooping and yelling something about running. Miko joined in, copying Zee's cries. Jack and Raf simply looked at each other, wide grins on their faces.

"Hey, Optimus?" Raf looked up to the Prime with an eager expression. "Can Zee be part of the team?"

The Prime looked wary. "I do not wish to put another human child in danger. Zee is no older than Jack an-"

"HUMAN!" Zee stopped and looked offended. "I am no HUMAN WORMBABY! I AM ZEE! I am an Irken Invader, OBEY THE MIGHTY FIST OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE!" She shock her fist, adding. "All hail the Almighty Tallest...and MUFFINS! ALL HAIL MUFFINS!"

And then promptly began running around again.

Raf began laughing. "Aw, _please_?" he begged the bewildered Prime. "She _did _get rid of the Nemesis for a while..."

"Plus, she's AWESOME!" piped up Miko.

The Prime considered for a moment. Yes, the child had done them a great favour by disabling the Nemesis, even if it was out of pure luck. But...the child was very...strange, for want of a better word. He was a little concerned for her mental health if he was being truthful. But, she seemed to have already made friends with Miko, and Raf liked her. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

"Very well, you have twisted my arm. Zee may stay." Oprimus chuckled as the rest of his team cheered.

"Alright!" Miko began, before Zee grabbed her. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Zee dragged Miko to Prime and saluted.

"Almighty leader, I have captured the enemy for meat testing. PRAISE ME! PRAISE MEEEEE!"

* * *

**And so concludes my madness...for now. mwahahahahaha...**

**Do you guys want more of my insanity? **

**As always, don't forget to review ("PRAISE ME! PRAISE MEEEEE!"), and check out my other stories! **


	3. Chapter 3: Sister-in-Law

**I AM BACK AND MADDER THAN EVER! Strap yourselves in, it's going to be one INSANE ride! These next few chappies are going to be EPIC! **

**I wrote the first part of this to 'In the Beginning' a track in the Invader Zim soundtrack. Check out that soundtrack, it's fragging AWESOME!**

**This is from Sen's POV. (Invader Zim OC) **

'_**Mi-elei eru'hani**_** ' translates from Irken as 'my one and only.'**

**Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

* * *

**The madness. THE MADNESS! Part 3**

**Sister-in-Law**

I adjusted the Base's security system. Too many wormy humans had been able to walk onto our lawn, any more interruptions and our plan would never come to fruition. Not that Zee or Gir cared about the plan, all they ever did was run around and play games. Zim and I were the only one actually _working_ to finalise the takeover of Earth.

Walking down the red and purple lit passageways of the lab, I pulled on my black, elbow length gloves, smoothing down my self-modified Invader Uniform as I walked into my experiment room.

There were hundreds of green, glassy holotanks, each holding a specimen of this filthy planet. The foremost line contained the human test subjects. As I walked past them, I felt their eyes bore into me. Some held fear, others held hatred and swore revenge. Most proclaimed a mixture of terror and awe as they watched my figure pass in a graceful, well practiced march.

My lilac eyes swept the room for the one human I was looking for, my elegantly curved antennae perked up as I found the brat huddled against the glass of her holding cell, her blonde hair matted and unkempt, face contorted and streaked with tears.

"Awake I see."

I practically purred in a vindictive pleasure at seeing her flinch at the sound of my voice. I felt a vicious smile slide onto my face. This pathetic worm had hurt someone very dear to me, and for that, she would pay.

"Not to worry, as soon as I am done with you, I will erase your memory of my experiments and let you loose. As to whether you can survive that long...well that depends on your behaviour."

With a dark laugh, I continued walking until I reached the control room. There, I saw my teammates, GIR, Zee and her brother Zim. They looked up and smiled as I joined them at the transmission screen. Instead of the usual display of the Irken symbol, I saw several complex diagrams, all moving, fitting and slotting together.

"What is this?" I turned to my mate, Zim.

"Blueprints for a new super-weapon that I managed to steal from the Massive's database archives." He replied with a purr. "I thought you might have fun studying them, _mi-elei eru'hani_."

I smirked. "Not as much fun as I have studying _you _Zim."

"EEEWWWW!" Screamed Zee, covering her antennae, "Guys! Gir and I are still in the room! Control your noise-tubes in front of the baby!"

Zim apologised sheepishly. His twin had set clear rules about flirting in front of her and 'the baby', aka Gir the malfunctioning SIR unit. Gir, however, was too busy bouncing around on his head to notice anything that had been said.

"Zimmy?" Zee asked. "Can I use the space-time machine thingy? I wanna throw a banana at Henry the Eighth again. Plus I don't like the way that nasty Galloway man spoke to my lovely 'bots, so I'll teach him a lesson. Kay?"

"No." Her twin said firmly.

"Pleeeaaaassseeee?" Zee pressed, her ruby eyes growing wide and teary, bottom lip wobbling adorably.

"No." Zim said again, less certainly this time.

"PATHETIC WORMSLAVE! HOW DARE YOU REFUSE ME!" Zee shouted, antennae flattening to her head, always a danger sign for Irkens. "I AM AN INVADER! YOU WILL OBEY THE FIST OF THE MIGHTY IRKEN EMPIRE! OBEY OR FACE MY WRATH!"

"Alright! Fine!" Zim panicked, throwing the device over the table. He didn't know what would happen if he continued to refuse her, but neither did he want to find out.

"YEY! I LIKE YOU! HAVE A PIGGY!" Zee yelled.

Gir handed a piggy to Zim, before they both ran off to Irk-knows where, screaming about tacos. A grinning Zim placed an arm imperiously around his mate's waist.

"You know Sen, I'm so proud of my little sister. She's turning into a really terrifying little Invader..."

* * *

**Next up, The Liaison of DOOM! Galloway gets more than he bargined for when he picks a fight with ZEE!**

**INVADER ZEE, SIGNING OFF!**


	4. Chapter 4: Love Makes The World Go Round

**Okay, I know I said 'Liaison of DOOM!' would be next, but I just watched 'The Search For Alpha Trion' again and I just couldn't resist! It's not exact, but I like it better MY way! This way, you get my madness, and some OP/E1 love! ^_^**

**I literally SCREAM at my poor, long-suffering laptop at the ending of that episode. The first time I watched it, I turned to my mum and said;**

"Whuuuuutt? They no kissy? But...but why? All happy endings have kissys!" *puts head in hands and sobs uncontrollably* "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!" D:

**As always, enjoy and review!**

* * *

The surface of Cybertron was quiet as the two teams said their goodbyes. But even the air seemed gentle and tender around the two commanders as they stood at a respectable distance between each other. For a moment, a soft whooshing sound could almost be heard over the soft voices of the assembled 'bots.

"It's time for us to go Elita." Optimus said, his voice heavy with sorrow. "I only wish we did not have to part again."

Elita let her head droop. "I...understand." she said. "You need us to continue the fight here on Cybertron."

"I know I can trust you to do what is right." Optimus lightly took her hand in his, distracted momentarily by a flash of light in the distance. He put it out of his mind. "Even if it takes me the rest of my life, I will return home...to you."

Elita smiled, squeezing his hand tightly. "I know you will. You promised."

Optimus gently tilted her chin up, memories of better times flooding into his mind. He hated to leave her so sad. He quickly changed the subject, letting his hand fall back to his side.

"I guess we have Alpha Trion to thank for our victory." He said, for a second, considering telling her everything, then thinking better of it.

"Yes." Elita said, amusement filtering into her serene voice. "Such a wise old Autobot. He's almost like a...well a father to me."

"More than you'll ever know Elita."

Optimus sighed, resisting the urge to grab the femme and drag her onto the ship, so she could never leave his side. He glanced back, his team was beginning to board. He caught another flash of light, and frowned in the direction of it. There was nothing there. Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him, or his optics needed a check up...

Shaking his head to clear it, he gently took his beloved Elita's hands and placed them over his spark. A silent promise that he was hers, and hers alone. She traced her thumb over the seams of his chest and sighed as he reluctantly pulled away to follow the rest of his team. Suddenly, the light patter of tiny footsteps could be heard. The 'bots all looked down as a little green alien ran up to them.

"Look, Optimus." She said, sternly brandishing a squeaky toy pig at him, her ruby eyes glowing a deep crimson in the soft light. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, you're a brilliant leader and an all around great guy. BUT HOLY MARY MOTHER OF CHEESESTICKS, KISS THAT GIRL!"

The Prime blinked. But stayed where he was. Suddenly, dark clouds with strobing lightening appeared over them, and rain began to fall.

"You heard me!" the little green girl said, levitaing slightly off the ground in a beam of purple light that crackled in rage. "NOW DO AS I SAY! KISS THAT GIRL, or I will send you into a world of darkest nightmares from which there is NO waking! OBEY THE FIST" She shook her fist.

Elita grinned. She slid over to the bemused Prime and slipped his facemask off, crashing her lips onto his. He was taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered and returned his beloved's kiss with passion.

The green alien bowed as the skies cleared and sunlight fell upon them all.

"The natural balance has been restored." She stated sagely before pressing a button on her arm brace and vanishing in a suspiciously familiar flash of light.

* * *

Zee settled happily into the Voot Runner as it flew away from the metal planet. A job well done. Sen looked over to her, shaking her head in bewilderment.

"You just can't resist can you?" Sen asked, setting an automatic course for the ship. Zee placed the piggy on her head, grinning like a maniac at her sister-in-law.

"I call 'em as I see 'em."

* * *

**I think we can all agree that me showing up was a much better ending to that episode!**

**Don't forget to review!**

**INVADER ZEE, OVER AND OUT! *is tackled by GIR***


	5. Chapter 5: The Liaison of DOOM!

**HOLY IRK! Somebody call the Tallest, the exploding monkeys are loose in my brain! Those HORRIBLE monkeys... MY BEAUTIFUL BRAIN! SAVE ME SUPERMAN! *runs around screaming***

**Yes. I have had a lot of sugar. Be afraid, be very afraid. *cackles madly***

**The chapter you've all been waiting for is FINALLY here! Less insanity in this one. Instead, there is a lot of epic badassery. Still some insanity because that's just who I am, but I because I am an Irken, whenever I am in a situation that my PAK considers a threat, it switches me into Soldier-Mode. In short, Galloway is just doomed. **

**This chapter has some gore and violence in the latter part. That's why the rating for this fic has gone up. I understand that some of you might not like the way I ended it, but I wanted to make this as real as possible. And besides, it's my fic and I can do what I want to! :D**

**IMPORTANT INFO YOU NEED TO KNOW! **Tessa is NOT my OC, she belongs to the wonderful **UlurNaga**, and I asked her if I could use a few parts of her story **'Primary Mechanisms'**, which you should ALL have a look at. It's in my favourites, so make sure you check it out. It's fragging brilliant! ^_^ Love you UlurNaga!  
I've changed a lot, so I'm not blatantly copying her hard work, but some parts had to be left the same, lest I would lose the effect of the storyline.

**Irken Vocab in this chapter.**

Liu'nan! – Keep steady!

Mikar teng mei'su! – Don't shoot unless you're fired at!

Chen fa'ri tang jan sinsau ch'. – He should learn to keep that foul mouth closed.

**GIR and my BFF Kelsey are also in this chapter, along with Shadowstreak's OC Invader Song and her SIR unit Rhythm. Kelsey and GIR will have a bigger role in the next chapter. **

**Don't forget to review!**

* * *

**THE MADNESS! part 4**

**The Liaison of DOOM!**

**BANG!**

Zim kicked open the doors and ran around the armoury, his babbling screeches on the verge of being hysterics.

"NO! THE TACOS HAVE ESCAPED! THE GIANT MUTANT TACOS ARE LOOSE! Oh no. No, BY IRK! They've teamed up with the Flesh-Eating-Demon-Squid! GAH! Now they've created an army of Dib-monkey clones! We're all DOOOOOOOMED! BLARGJIPNIGKIRTENFOURLALALAL A!"

Zim had some kind of seizure, and fell to the floor, twitching feebly. His PAK had shut down temporarily to protect what was left of his mind. As the last echoes of his screams died away, two Irken females poked their heads into the room, giggling. With wide grins on their faces, they walked in, followed by two SIR units that were holding hands and skipping.

Zee stood over her twin. "Least we know your Insanity Gun works now." She remarked, giving the female beside her a thumbs up. "It worked really well didn't it Song?"

Song nodded, impressed with the power of the ray gun that she held. "I didn't think it would have such a big effect. But don't you think we should have tested it on the testing drones instead of your brother?"

Zee waved away her friend's concern. "Nah! Zimmy don't mind! And if he does, I'll just buy him a new super weapon and he'll forgive me! Besides, _I _wanted to test it on _Dib_."

Song gasped and looked horrified. "NOT MY DIB!"

A barrage of loud squeals split through the room as GIR ran up to them. His adorable little face was alight with happiness as he danced his infamous 'Munkey Dance' at hyperspeed.

"Guesswhutguesswhut!" he bellowed. When the two Irkens looked at him in confusion he stopped dancing and squealed, "Rhythm ses she lovzez meh! I tells her I lovezez her too!"

"D'aw that's nice GIR." Song said, "Why don't you get her a present to show her how much you love her?"

GIR thought for a moment. "Will she likeses a big piggy cake?"

Song nodded, watching Zee drag her brothers prone body over to a chair in the corner and setting him into a seated position.

"Rhythm would like that a lot. She likes piggy's and she _loves _cake."

"OKI DOKI!" GIR hugged Song's middle and ran off, grabbing Rhythm in the process. "LETS MAKE CAKES AND BISCUITS AND PIZZA AND TACOS AND BACON SOAP!"

"YEY! BACON SOAP!"Rhythm's loud squeals of joy faded until there was silence in the armoury once again.

The two Irkens stood for a few moments, both of them were thinking. Song was thinking how nice it was that the two little SIR units had found love at last. Zee, however, was thinking about stealing a penguin and modifying it so that it could fly into space and shoot lasers from its beak. She would call him Squawky the Magnificent and make him a superhero costume.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a loud clang and an 'OW' from the corridor outside the armoury. The two Invaders exchanged a knowing look before the doors opened, revealing a tall, brown haired human who was massaging her head.

"Hi guys! Sen wants to know if you have the key card for the big destroying robot-thing." Kelsey wandered over. "I forgot the door doesn't open automatically like the other rooms." She added by way of explanation of the bump on her head.

The two Irkens laughed, rolling their eyes. They'd figured as much. Kelsey wasn't known as Kalamity Kelsey for nothing! Zee handed her best friend the key card and returned the human's wave as she trotted off to help Sen with the Hunter-Destroyer Machine. Song suddenly remembered something and turned to Zee.

"Now, what was this about inter-universal travel and the Transformers?"

* * *

By the time the military copter was able to be made out clearly, the sun was just beginning to slip beyond the horizon; casting an angry orange hue over the base. Tessa watched in horror as the clasps carrying the precious cargo were released and the body of Optimus Prime dropped lifelessly onto the concrete. The noise the metal made when it landed was a screeching, thundering crash; and the sparks that grinded briefly to life frightened her. Her knees felt weak and her heart felt so heavy that it was a wonder she was still breathing from the weight of it. She had no control over what her body did next, because it pulled forward of its own will; like a magnet was guiding her without her consent.

She knelt down beside Optimus' face and felt her tears pulling at the corner of her eyes. There was no light in his optics; no life left in them…

She heard the four Autobots on the opposite side of her transform from their vehicle modes and into their true forms, but she didn't look up at them; she couldn't. Their faces would make it too real; make it hurt too much. Her heart ached when she realised the grief they must be feeling. They had fought alongside Optimus for a very long time. Longer than Tessa could even comprehend.

"…please don't be dead…you can't die...you just _can't._" she whispered, cradling what she could of his face into her hands; rocking back and forth in anguish as she felt hot tears trail down her cheeks. "You're Optimus Prime! It's impossible for you to just _die! It's not possible!_"

"Tessa, you know that saying that won't actually make a difference. As much as I wish it could be different, you can repeat those same words a hundred times, and he will still be dead." Came a voice. "I don't really understand why humans do that. Why do you say things aren't true when they obviously are?"

Tessa rounded on the voice wanting to yell and shriek at them for being so cold and blunt, but she stopped when she saw the questioning faces of Song, Zee and Sen gazing down at her with their alien eyes. Tessa felt her anger evaporate. She couldn't blame them for being confused. They had never seen human grief before. She wondered if they even knew what grief _was_. She watched Zee rub her chest, frowning slightly. Tessa felt sympathy for them. They would be wondering what the strange new feeling was. She thought back to the first time she had met them, back when everything had been calm.

"_So, they're aliens?" Tessa blinked at the tall, green females in front of her. _

_One was a slightly darker shade of green with cyan eyes, while the other was lime green with ruby red eyes. They both wore a uniform of some sort, but they had obviously modified them to suit their own individual tastes. As she spoke, she watched the antennae's on their heads twitch slightly. She figured they used them for hearing or something. Another one was speaking to Ratchet. She had beautiful lilac eyes and the antennae were incredibly elegant looking. _

"_We're Irken. From the planet Irk." Grinned the one with blue eyes. "I'm Song, an elite sniper. And this is my friend, Zee, an elite guard. Over there is Sen, she's an elite soldier too, but she has a higher rank than Zee."_

"_Woo! Hi there!" Zee said, waving like a lunatic. "You all seem like very nice tacos! I like those tacos, so that means I'll like you too! Yey! Let's have a piggy party! But let's not invite Dib this time. I know you like him Song, but he and Zim just end up fighting, and I don't think these guys would appreciate a destroyed base."_

"_Nice to meet you too." Tessa laughed, feeling the inevitable nerves as she spoke to them. Even though she knew the Autobots, it was still a shock to her system to actually meet other aliens. "I'm Tessa, the mechanic."_

_The two Irkens suddenly grinned mischievously. _

"_Oh..._so _**you're**__ the Tessa I've been hearing about." Song said. "This_ _will be interesting!"_

_Tessa was taken aback. "What do you mean?"_

"_Nuthin." Zee said. "Don't wanna spoil the surprise."_

_Tessa turned to Optimus for some sort of explanation. He gave her none, except a confused shake of his head. _

"_I want to thank you both. Without your intervention, today's battle may have ended in tragedy." Optimus spoke to the two aliens. _

_Zee grinned, lazily twirling an advanced looking weapon around her finger. _

"_Don't mention it. I needed an excuse to test fire my new gun anyway. And since I'm apparently not allowed to use humans anymore, I figured, if it works on Decepticons, then it's a pretty safe bet it'll work on most other forms of life." She paused. "I was joking about the human testing by the way!" she added, laughing as she saw the expressions on Optimus and Tessa's faces. _

"_Well. Mostly joking." Song said. _

"_Do politicians even count as people?" Zee asked, genuine bewilderment in her eyes._

_Tessa burst into laughter. _

Tessa didn't even bother fighting back the fresh wave of tears as she remembered how happy they had all been. The three Irkens had become good friends of the Autobots, despite their disagreements over human experiments. Tessa felt a gloved hand gently grip her left shoulder, and turned around to see the beautiful form of Sen kneeling beside her.

"I understand this is hard for you, but it seems we have company." She said in her sonorous voice, nodding behind her.

Tessa's attention was seized rather viciously by a group of Hummers approaching the area; and they were mounted with weapons. She gasped as they circled around the Autobots with the guns pointed at them; and she got to her feet in shock. She ran to where Ironhide and Sideswipe were, standing between them and the loaded militia.

"Wh-what are you _doing_? Don't shoot! What's wrong with you people?" she yelled; her voice high and panicked with the fear that was coiled in her chest. "They're the good guys! They're on our side!"

"What is the meaning of this?" Sideswipe seethed angrily, discreetly moving to stand in front of Tessa; shielding her from the guns that were aimed in their general direction.

The three Irkens found themselves as targets for a few of the guns as well. They yelled something in their own language and the solders watched in awe and fear as spider-like mechanical legs emerged from the pod things on the backs of the Irkens, weapons flying into their waiting hands. The legs raised them at least three metres off the ground, daring the guns to aim at them again. They hissed angrily, the snake-like sound was loud and fearsome.

"Liu'nan!" Sen barked at Zee and Song. "Mikar teng mei'su!"

Tessa couldn't understand the language, but she could tell it was an order of some kind. She knew that Irkens were a military race, and that Sen was some kind of elite soldier. It made sense for her to be the one in charge.

Ironhide looked to be _far_ more furious than the others, his rage emanating from him in violent waves.

"You _dare_ point a gun at me?" he roared angrily. "You want a piece of me?" he stepped forward with his cannons aiming and ready; Tessa could see his eyes. They were glowing so vibrantly that they almost frightened her, "I will tear you apart!"

Lennox came rushing over, screaming at the soldiers to lower their firearms, and she stepped away from the circle over towards him; watching him beat his hands against the hood of one of the vehicles. He and another soldier had a brief, argumentative exchange of words before the Hummer's passenger door opened. To her discontent, the Director who'd insulted her; _Galloway_, was the one who exited the vehicle, an almost strut in the way he walked.

"N.E.S.T team is deactivated, Major." He said sternly, not having even shut the vehicle door before beginning his onslaught to Lennox. "You are to cease anti-Decepticon operations, and return to Diego Garcia; pending further orders."

"Who is this bothersome dirt-child?" Sen's voice was clearly heard in the temporary silence. She didn't sound impressed.

Galloway turned towards the Autobots and the N.E.S.T operatives who had congregated around them protectively. He looked to the three Irkens, who were in some kind of a ready position, their weapons aimed. With the mechanical legs holding them high in the air, and loud hisses escaping them every so often, they were a terrifying sight. Galloway stepped back slightly.

Emboldened by the man's fear, Lennox quickly rebutted the Director's demand. "No. We take our orders directly from Chairman Morshower. Sir." He snapped.

Tessa wanted to cheer. _Someone _had to take the first steps in politely telling Galloway to frag off. It was about time. Her heart sank once more, however when Galloway simply continued the argument in his grating, arrogant voice.

"Well, I'll see your Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and I will raise you, a President of the United States." He reached a hand into the inside pocket of his blazer and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I have operational command now."

"WATCH OUT! HE'S GOT A PIECE OF PAPER!" Zee said, feigning terror. "He might use it's incredible papery powers on us! I'm shaking in my _hard earned_ elite guard boots!"

Tess snorted. Zee was right. She would have high fived her if she'd been near her...and if Zee had actually _had _five fingers in the first place.

_What the frag does a letter prove?_ Tessa thought. The solders all around her, both human and alien had fought alongside each other for a long time now. _We are practically family, we love and protect one another, we grieve for our dead. Can't the stupid president see that? What the hell is wrong with this world!?_

Galloway had obviously decided to ignore the Irkens altogether, as he was now addressing the rest of the soldiers.

"An alien blood feud has been brought to our shores for which our soldiers are paying the price." He said, pointing an accusing finger at them all. When it roved over Zee, she pretended to have been shot, making convincing dying noises. Again, Galloway ignored her. "The secret is _out_! This is _our _war now! And we will win it as we always have; with a co-ordinated military strategy."

"Meh. Take your holier-than-thou attitude and shove it up your ass!" Song called out, causing the soldiers around her to laugh. "You don't know frag about the Decepticons. And as for a 'co-ordinated military strategy'? You are so doomed."

"YEY! YOU'RE ALL DOOMED!" Zee shouted cheerfully, doing some kind of mad victory dance.

"Song is right. This fool is terribly misinformed." Ratchet said solemnly.

Tess probably would have laughed once more, had she not turned around to look at Ratchet and caught sight of Optimus' beaten, lifeless body; instead her heart weighed itself down once more.

This time it was Lennox's turn to speak; his voice defensive and angry. "You're gonna need every asset that you've got-"

"-What we _need _is to draw up battle plans" Galloway interrupted, cutting him off "while we explore every possible diplomatic solution."

Lennox's eyes narrowed angrily, "Like what, handing over the kid?"

_He wouldn't?_ Tess thought. Sam's protection had been the reason Optimus had died, at least that's what Ratchet had told her when they had arrived at the base. _That kid is the whole reason they're fighting for, surely Galloway wouldn't…_?

However, the Director's silence gave him away.

"All options are being considered." He said simply, seeming unable to hide the condescending smirk at the corner of his mouth.

Tessa saw the three Irkens visibly tense in fury. She heard the vicious hisses that escaped them. Over the time she had known them, she had asked them about their species, interested in their culture. She knew it was part of their society that no matter what, no member of their species would _ever _be handed over to the enemy. _Especially _what they would have considered a smeet, as Sam would be. She saw the air around them start to take on a deep purple hue, their antennae's snapped flat to their heads. That was not a good sign. Tessa knew that indicated a deep rage. If it the air around them started to crackle, she would run for cover. That would mean they were in a murderous, almost uncontrollable frenzy.

"Chen fa'ri tang jan sinsau ch'!"

Sen's snarl ripped through the air, she looked to her fellow Irkens, who nodded fiercely. Tessa mentally agreed with whatever the hell Sen had said. She wanted to say something, but she reminded herself. She was only the mechanic.

_It's not my place. I could get everyone in a lot of trouble. At least Sen and the others can speak a different language. Galloway doesn't know what they're saying, so he can't make a point of it. _

Thankfully, Graham spoke in her stead, causing Galloway to stop his path back to the vehicle to take note.

"Sir. Whatever the Decepticons are after, this is just the start." He said calmly; the simple wisdom in his words hitting home with everyone.

Lennox changed tactics. Instead of being aggressive, Lennox tried reasoning with the man; his voice almost _pleading_ for him to understand what was at stake. "There is no _negotiating_ with them-"

"-I'm ordering you to _stand down_!" Galloway hissed, standing nose to nose with Lennox; aggression and control written all over his face. She felt her anger rise at his idiotic _insolence_! She had to fight with every fibre of her being to control her hurt, and anger; to stop it from being aimed at someone it shouldn't be.

_Not your place. Not your place._ She thought rapidly to herself, trying to stem the fury that she could feel bubbling in her chest.

The Director reached up and ripped what had to have been a medal, or an honorary title patch of some kind from the front of Lennox's jacket. The air around the Irkens began to crackle slightly.

"You won't be needing this anymore!" he snapped, throwing the badge on the floor. "Get your _assets_ back to base!" he turned and went to take the handle of the Hummer door in his hand as he watched Lennox furiously.

"And take that pile of scrap metal back to Diego Garcia."

**SLAM!**

Several things happened at once. Tessa had originally made to run at Galloway, but had found herself gently swept aside by a mechanical arm. She watched as the arms launched the Irken soldiers at Galloway, who kicked him into the Hummer behind him. Zee and Song grabbed his arms and made him kneel, while Sen walked slowly up to him, her vindictive smile and crackling purple aura only confirmed Tessa's fears. Pure fury was evident on the faces of the Irkens, and on the Autobots. Tessa noted that they had made no move to stop Sen or the others. They simply watched.

"What do you think you are doing?!" roared Galloway. "Release me at once, or you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life."

"I am an Irken elite soldier. You have utterly no authority over me." Sen said, her voice colder than ice as she marched closer to him.

"Oh? And just want do you plan to achieve by detaining me here?" Galloway sneered, his condescending attitude showing once again.

"As part of an ever growing galactic empire, and the highest ranking Irken on this planet, my authority outweighs yours." Sen said coolly. "You have broken several sacred rules of Irken society, and this cannot go unpunished."

Tessa watched the Autobots tense slightly.

"Director Galloway, you are hereby charged with the following offences." Sen began. "Allowing the endangerment of a smeet, or as you would know it, a child. You insinuated that you would give up the Earth-child known as Sam to dangerous enemies. He is also a member of your own species, which in itself is another offence."

The area was silent.

"Next offence; disregarding the honorary tiles bestowed onto another through their achievements or courage. You tore one of Major William Lennox's badges off and cast it upon the ground. Irkens are a military race. This is a very grave offence."

Not a single person in the vicinity moved.

"Your final offence; insulting a brave and compassionate leader, who gave his very life so that others may live. Such an act of courage and loyalty to their people is to be revered and respected, you however, treated the body and memory of Optimus Prime with great insolence. You had the audacity to refer to the honourable leader of the Autobots as 'scrap metal'. For these four charges, there can only be one fitting punishment."

Zee and Song forced Galloway to his feet. Sen regarded him with disgust. Tessa felt her heart beat faster. She knew what was coming, she just knew.

"Galloway. By the Irken rules of galactic society, you are hereby sentenced to death by immediate execution."

Galloway yelled for help, the Autobots burst into action...but it had only taken half a second for Sen to rip out Galloway's heart. She held the still beating organ up for them all to see, as Galloways cries suddenly stopped, his body crashing to the ground, blood pooling around him. There was silence.

The only sound was the steady drip of blood from the now still heart that Sen still held.

* * *

**Don't hate me. It might not be the nicest ending, but hey! Galloway's dead!**

***throws piggy party!***

**Don't forget to review, but be nice. :)**


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